I want to stick my p in your. b.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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