well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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