Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
