If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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