Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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