Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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