I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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