she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
