Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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