I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
