As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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