I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
