Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Randomize
