Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Jerry, you need to find god
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
