kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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