this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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