Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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