He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
