would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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