I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
