I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
