Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
