Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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