Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
