I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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