If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i think i have two assholes
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize