I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just gargled with NyQuil
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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