Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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