Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize