Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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