This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We left an ass print on the piano.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
