Already got asked if we're dating
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
