i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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