"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
