So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
