is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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