her vagine was all disorganized.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
