Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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