my room smells like sperm. sweet.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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