We named our party play list daddy issues
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
