the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
