So drunk its hurt
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize