Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
