Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
