Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
