Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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