whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize