do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
