I skipped work to stalk him.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
