Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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