She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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