I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
