I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We were destined to go to rehab together
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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