There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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