At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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