I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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