Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize