I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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