He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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