"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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