This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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