he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
