hell yes lets make some ravioli
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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