she was so not down for the gang bang
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
This is the high leading the old right now
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
