My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
