I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
