I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
