I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
