I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Terrible idea I love it
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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