you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
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