The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
