There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
