i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
