This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
